On Transactional Behaviors and False Selflessness
By Bilal Bikile
Every facet and aspect of my life has truly proven to be transactional. I haven’t a selfless speck within me. I expect a return on the investment of all my efforts, from the grandiose to the most minute. And I must say, I have seen most of them and expect all of them to be paid in full to me, at some point, be it in this life or the next. The thing is, I don’t know if people of the world have embraced the reality of this behavioral mode we all subconsciously or intentionally adapt. Underneath all of our goals, aspirations, characteristics, inclinations, relationships, deeds, and desires lies a selfish undertone focused on the return of what we put out and into the world.
I will provide a brief list of situations and examples where this may be the case:
* Parents raise children in exchange for legacy, more wealth, status, respect, righteousness via raising God fearing children as a proxy, and of course, one of the most common reasons – to have someone who will take care of them in old age and destitution.
* Men treat women with respect for the opportunity to sleep with them, love them, and convince them to bear their children. They are also good to women because contemporary society may favor them due to their actions. They may rise in status if the women in their vicinity who trust them are good-looking or influential. They may be perceived as trustworthy and calming, even though it is highly likely they only think of the sexual activities that may result from their behaviors. When it comes to men dealing with women, oftentimes, it is purely transactional. If they fear God and are good and respectful to women, the reward is high, because God knows man and man mostly wishes for sexual release, a woman’s softness, and for a woman to be his mirror.
* Humans work for provision or recognition, and if for neither, then enjoyment, and if for none of those, then for the sake of God and nothing else.
* A writer listens closely to stories of trials and tribulations of those “close” to him, not for the commendable reason of being sympathetic and supportive, but to catalogue tried and true life experiences to later write about.
In all of these cases, the only just reason to do anything “good” is for the sake of God. Because with that trade comes safety from becoming an oppressor, alongside worldly benefits via all other sources of remuneration.
However, many of us do good not for God’s sake.